Not all terrible men want to remain terrible. Not all abusive men like what they do. Many can?t just control themselves at the climax of anger but you wouldn?t blame them since you have no slightest knowledge of their growing up. You don?t know their experiences; what made them who you have as a partner. Dear readers, permit me to be the advocate. In just 5 different cases I?ve witnessed, the larger ratio tells that ladies are mostly victims of the menace though there are cases of ladies hitting their men. One thing is clear ? everything that makes us who we are is a combination of too many factors or influences. After the processes are done and we are made, we get to meet another kind of us; that underwent different processes and now made. Then we seek to form a relationship. For instance, I particularly don?t like nagging: I?d prefer to be calm and work out my solutions. Then, if somewhere, a lady was raised in a home where her mother nags and rants to her father and she probably got affected by the ?virus?, and after several years we get to meet, we just might not have a balanced relationship except we help ourselves. In my write-up,?How to Save a Dying Relationship?, I made it clear that leaving our partners because of certain imperfection and making new ones isn?t the easiest way to comfort. Change, though sometimes almost impossible but inevitable if it?s sponsored by the right person. There is always a right person to make people change! The person may or may not be you. Negative habits or certain character came to be via contrary influence and with the right person; these things can still change via positive influence. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship and at some point your partner does feel remorse for his or her action, that?s a platform for change. Now, how do you get at it?
KNOW THE MINUS
The minus is what makes him or her incomplete to you. It?s your partner?s dark-side that makes you sad. It?s what he does that hurts you all the time ? what you think you can?t accept her doing. It?s still what we are about to address; what I believe can be influenced. You have to identify this though it?s nothing hidden. Make a target and desire to effect a gradual change in that area. Just as I always say, for everyone you meet out there, there is always something wrong with them ? something you?d easily say ?I just can?t take that? . . . but there?s someone ready to manage it and see it fade away. If what get him angry are your late hours, try to be on time. If what always gets her mad is your lack of communication, identify the minus and help it.
AVOID THE MINUS
At this, you need to be careful of what powers the situation. What propels domestic violence in a relationship is always uncontrolled anger. Maybe he get pissed off easily, maybe she gets irritated at everything, identify it. Avoid what sponsors the situation. While you?re on the change process, try avoiding makes your partner angry. He might not like placing things on his TV set; it just might be a particular place or something not to place somewhere. He beats you, well that?s wrong, but you talk too much. Watch it! There are certain things you have identified as the cause, avoid it. Is it a kind of dress he doesn?t like you wearing? Must his dinner be ready at 7pm? Should you worship at the same place with him? These things, though little but not avoided, does gravitate into violence since each person would claim to be right. 2 years ago, I counseled a couple on a silly case that resulted into a slap on the woman?s face. Don?t be too quick to tagged fighting couples as immature, the fact is, at the face of anger, no one is matured. It just has to be restrained yet it still doesn?t make you matured until it becomes a part of you. The case of this couple looks silly but the outcome was not. In brief, what sponsored the ugly situation was a toothpaste. The man wants it pressed from the bottom, the woman have always been pressing her toothpaste from the top. That was how it started! These are little things that mean a lot.
AVOID EXTENSIVE ARGUMENT
So many ladies find it difficult to do this. Your continuous argument does not make you right neither will it pass your message across to him. In fact, at the point of intense argument, nothing is learnt! Everyone is wrong! Try and avoid it. The endpoint of extensive argument in a relationship is always nothing-good. It could power the unexpected. You actually don?t have to take it that far before you keep quiet. When misunderstanding turns into argument, keep it short and free yourself of the unexpected. Remember, it doesn?t make you the right person. Silence is wisdom!
WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, EITHER A MAN OR A WOMAN CAN BE INFLUENCED
You could make yourself the right person or get out of his/her life. It?s just a decision! Everyone could succumb to positive influence. If you make yourself the right person, things wouldn?t be as difficult as you make it. It?s good you have a choice at this point and if you?ve got the courage to stand and change your partner, it?s possible ? just position yourself to be the right person. Sometimes, we need to carefully consider our quick judgment to present situations. How did they come about? Who made them? Your friends that is silent about their relationship problems and not telling you so that you can assume they?re having a good time? Your mother that?s probably out of her own marriage? Your father that married four wives? Who is telling you what to do? Friend, you can choose to be the right person and consider managing the situation if you?ve got the courage.
BE PATIENT
Well, if you see this as a lost virtue, try and buy it back. The whole process of getting into a new relationship might just be equivalent to the years of your impatience. At the same time, don?t endure domestic violence because of certain benefits or gains, read?16 Raw Truth Ladies Must Know?it could be dangerous except you choose to be the right person ? it?s a sensitive and possible mission! Not every situation of domestic violence result to break-up or divorce. Some of these people actually want to change ? they were not made to be aggressive! A part in them needs to be connected to; a part that can affect their whole ? it needs to be influenced. We all got our soft spots, be patient and connect to it. Wait for or create a blissful atmosphere to discuss your worries with your partner. Make them know your pains. It?s unfortunate that feminism has brought so many troubles into relationships. A situation where a woman believes she?s equal to her man has made submission absent in relationships. Patient still works and it can as well work for you. Remember, everyone is terrible at something; it takes only the right person to make them look perfect.
http://www.coachdexplorer.com/2013/07/how-to-manage-domestic-violence-in.html
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